I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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