i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
