Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
