I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
