Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
birth control should be required to get into college
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize