She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
