I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
