When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
