What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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