i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
