If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize