you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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