The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
