You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
