I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
