she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
