We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize