Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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