there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Found the puke drawer
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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