Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
