YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
