Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
