This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
