Non-Jews are for practice
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
