Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
