areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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