I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
