I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize