these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
