To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
