i just had sex bonerless
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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