I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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