I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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