It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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