I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Even my vagina gasped.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
