And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
