Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
