worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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