I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can't put those talents on a resume
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize