So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
