Sponge bath it is.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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