I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
