Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
