i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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