I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
