During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
