belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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