So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize