it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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