is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
