giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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