I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
