marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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