I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
