So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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