hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
