Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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