I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
