Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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