it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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