I'm going to rape someone's good day.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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