I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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