His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Randomize
