I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize