Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
