If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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