Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
