I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
